


Genetic Gardens

by Witch_of_Cheese



Category: Witch's Heart (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, dw it isnt some weird sex angst and anyway i hc both sirius and claire as ace, might add more chapters bc not much siriclaire happened except for pining, occurs sometime during the sirius conclusion route aka claire has memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29158836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witch_of_Cheese/pseuds/Witch_of_Cheese
Summary: She opens her mouth, speaks without a hint of warning in advance, "Hey, Sirius. Is it about sex?"Ashe beams, "Oho!?"Wilardo lets out a loud snort of what is definitely laughter and shakes his head, mumbling something about 'youth' that remains undecipherable, as the focus of the show rests on Sirius, who seriously contemplates whether he'll combust there and then, as his embarrassment ascends to reach newer, unexplored heights- no, rather, wouldn't combustion be a good alternative to this conversation?No longer trembling, standing flaming red, frozen, the subject of 3 different people's gazes, he flatly intones, "What."-In which Sirius is angry, flustered, depressed and tortures himself by being a dishonest, vulnerable overthinker; starring a Snake, Wise Old Man, Prince(ss) Charming and the quote "unnecessary feelings".
Relationships: Claire Elford/Sirius Gibson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	Genetic Gardens

"Wow", Claire drawls, glittering as she pours over a medical book that Ashe had been helping her understand. The book had been found amidst the many, many titles meticulously collected and preserved by Sirius in the room he was staying.

As she reads over a line about genetics once more, Ashe's explanations in mind- his excuse had been that during his travels, he'd gained an interesting sortie of information- she absently goes, "I wonder what a child born between you and me would look like, Ashe!"

The loud snap of a pencil is heard. Wilardo turns his head, unhurried movements sorting his flowers pausing, and raises an eyebrow at the culprit.

Sirius blames Ashe entirely. He huffs, brushes the splinters aside to be thrown away later, successfully ignores Wilardo's questioning gaze next to him and quietly fumes.

The noise and sight of a fuming Sirius goes unnoticed by the happy-go-lucky duo with Ashe folding his hands in his large sleeves as he hums, seemingly thinking of a response.

"Well, Miss Claire, I imagine that would be rather difficult to determine!"

Sirius gets a new pencil and takes a deep breath. Briefly, he wonders why all three of them are hanging around in his room anyways.

"Ehhhh, how so? Isn't it like, a bit of us both? Like an eye color from there, a hair color from here sort of thing?"

Ah, Sirius recalls as he sketches another pentagram. It's because Claire had been bored so he paid her to clean the storage room, then for some indescribable reason, he decided to get tea for them both since he found the prospect at the time to be... Oddly pleasant. He'd invited Wilardo along when he saw him slouching around the dining room with clearly nothing to do, and because he knew the man wouldn't cause a ruckus even once Claire recovered from 'post-cleaning duty tiredness', as she had dubbed it.

Ashe, though...

"Not necessarily, no", Ashe says, infuriatingly elongating his 'not' and 'no', "You see, ah... Oh, I got it! Think of genetics like... A field of random flowers!", he gestures with his hands animatedly and Claire "ooh's", entranced.

A headache throbs at the back of Sirius's head that he promptly ignores.

Ashe had come along to ask him something and promptly gotten distracted by Claire, the latter who had begun to scour through his shelves after their brief, gloriously and surprisingly peaceful, tea respite.

And then-

"Flowers?? I love flowers!"

"Hehe, do you now Miss Claire? Then that makes this easy to explain!"

-this _noise_ was produced, with them sitting together knee to knee on the ground next to a bookshelf, right in his direct line of sight. Sirius closes his eyes, patience thinning once more.

Ashe coughs lightly, theatrically in Sirius's view, "You see, imagine there's a field of flowers and each is different. That field you could say, is 'one person's genetic code'. Another field could have the same or different flowers and is close to the first field. Now, you can't get all flowers from both can you?"

"Er, not reasonably speaking, no... I'd feel a bit bad for the flowers too..."

Sirius glares heatedly at the back of her head as she scratches the back of her neck sheepishly, as if already guilty of a crime she hasn't committed yet. He barely restrains a scoff. It would look cute on someone timid and meek like Noel, perhaps, but on someone as _brutish_ and _daring_ as her, why, it's a ridiculous concept to associate words like _shy_ or _sheepish_ or, heaven forbid, _adorable_ -

"Exactly! So only a few from each can be chosen, randomly at that- well, unless you have specific flowers in mind. Genes are a bit like that in that respect!", he says, smiling like a simpleton at his juvenile 'student'.

'... That's such a watered down description', Sirius grimaces, 'She can't possibly be taken by that can sh-'

"Ohhhhhhh!!! That makes so much sense Ashe!"

Raising his head, he leans his head back on his chair, stares at the ceiling and wonders if Lady Dorothy would be disappointed in her, if only slightly. Wilardo gives him a discrete sidelong glance before resuming again.

Back in the present hell that he finds himself in, Sirius notices Claire tapping her chin, lost in thought, which has never been a good sign.

"Oh, so a child between us could have any sort of random combination huh... It could even look completely like me! Or like you!"

Unbidden, an image of a child with Claire's monstrous gorilla strength and Ashe's slime-coated smile, with the excitement of both multiplied twofold, arises in his mind. Not making any attempt to mask his shudders, unbridled nausea overcomes him at the very thought of these two... _creatures_ procreating. He rationalizes this formation of a rolling pit of disgust to be the result of his dislike for exuberant, bright and loud individuals as well as because of the topic being so brazenly discussed.

Vaguely, he's aware of a burning sensation in his chest again that he chooses to blames on indigestion. 'Claire must have cooked that steak with too much oil', he reasons, trying in vain to distract himself in order to focus on his work.

Ashe smiles widely and nods vigorously, "Yes exactly! Or it could look like us both, as you said, taking on some characteristics of me", he points to his eyes, "and you!", he points to her hair and deals the final blow, "I'm sure it would be a very cute child, Miss Claire!"

Another pencil abruptly snaps, this time accompanied by Sirius swiftly snapping his head in their direction and hissing, "Would you two kindly _stop_ with that absolutely _inane_ discussion already!?"

Wilardo doesn't stir, having given up on his surreptitious glances. He continues his work as Claire startles and Ashe lets out a yelp, twin sets of confused eyes looking at the offender; the display almost causes the florist to let out a huff of something resembling a laugh which dies too quickly to be noticed. Claire speaks first, the obvious bewilderment in her expression spiking Sirius's irritation instinctively, "W-What's wrong Sirius?"

Truthfully, Sirius doesn't know either but regardless, Ashe must be the root of the cause, as always. Even now, he has the _gall_ to look _confused_ -

Releasing his pent up ire, Sirius points at the two in aggravation, "Nothing! Nothing except for you two! Why on _earth_ are you discussing this?!"

Such a crude topic of discussion-! In his own house! In his and Lady Dorothy's sacred shared space! It's a difficult feat to make Sirius blush but he's not certain if his face has grown to adopt several shades of red just from embarrassment alone, concerning the current circumstances!

"There- There's only so much that I can entertain!!!", he starts again, only to stop, too busy breathing angrily to speak.

The she-gorilla has the audacity to pout and slam her hands on the ground, whining like a petulant child, ugh, "Whaaaaa, what's wrong with it?? It's just science!"

He pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters loudly, "No, I'm certain it left the realm of science a while ago..."

Abruptly, he freezes in his movements and brings his hand down from his face. She watches him, brows creased in confusion, as he stares at her with something akin to wonderment melting into a tinge of pitying acceptance. The seconds stretch to 5, then 10, confusion shifting into a slight uncomfortable crease as he solemnly gazes at her, and opens her mouth to break the silence when he blurts, pointing scandalously at her once more, "Wait, do you even know how children are born!?"

Claire blinks at him. He blinks back at her. Next to her, Ashe observes the happenings (or lack thereof, currently) with a finger on his lips, as if engaging in an actual thought process. Wilardo's shoulders mysteriously shake for just a moment until they just as equally mysteriously stop.

Tilting her head, her shoulder fall from their tensed position and he unknowingly observes the movement of her soft blue hair, wrinkling his nose at the unkempt nature of both it and the woman; she has no sense of style and yet everything looks _good_ on her, _ugh_ , meanwhile he has to spend ages in front of the mirror to get ready everyday. Something resembling an almost affectionate teasing tone enters her voice, that matching the glint in her eyes as she responds, "Huh? Of course I do Sirius, I'm a grown woman."

Said recipient of her statement visibly recoils, palpable shock rolling off him. Claire raises an amused eyebrow, smile threatening on laughter. The shock rapidly evaporates, outrage taking its place and he sputters while gesturing wildly, "Exactly!!!! How can you just- talk about this as if- It's just-"

"My, Sirius", Ashe finally pipes up, the traitorous snake, "If I didn't know any better..."

He casts a glance at Claire, finger curled in front of his mouth. An immediate sense of unease rises within Sirius, worse than heartburn, fists clenching tightly as he glares and prays in Lady Dorothy's name that his face hasn't evolved into a tomato.

'There isn't any reason to be so alarmed', he reasons with himself but is horribly unsuccessful because another, more screechy part of his mind disagrees since it's 'Ashe's _cursed mouth_ , Sirius you _idiot_.'

And precisely because it is so and Ashe must secretly take delight in his suffering, he smiles with figurative flowers emitting off of him and brightly states his theory, "I'd say you were jealous that Miss Claire and I were discussing potential children!" Then, as if an afterthought or to cement something he adds, "Between us!" Another beat and he chirps, "Specifically, exclusively so!"

He doesn't notice Wilardo having halted his pursuit of work, resting his head on his arms obscuring his smirk, nor does he notice Claire openly grinning mischievously. In his stupefied state, Sirius can not even begin to articulate a response, much less commit the act of thought- his mouth hangs open and closes vacantly, a finger raised as if to make a point but at a loss as to what the point is.

And precisely because she is Claire, an absolutely evil _vixen_ , she pounces at this opening with stars in her eyes, "Oh? Sirius, is that it??? Are you jea-"

This, at last, produces a response beyond gaping as he stands, chair clattering to the floor from the flustered force of his movement. His face is screwed up as produces a strangled sound, shaking, "O-O-Of all of the ridiculous notions!! That's not it at all!!!!"

There is no way in hell, heaven, or whatever other realm of existence that plagues his potential afterlife that he is jealous that Claire and Ashe might- could have- This is ridiculous!

He is also most certainly not thinking of the act that would lead to it! How absurd! How uncouth! Lady Dorothy would be ashamed if she were to know he had even contemplated Claire's se-se- no, he will not _go_ there-

As he has his internal struggle/emotional crisis, Claire stares and murmurs with a contemplative frown, "...Huh. Could it be..." Ashe peers at her questioningly with his arms folded in his sleeves, knowing whatever she says next will spell a new disaster.

She opens her mouth, suggesting without a hint of warning in advance, "Hey, Sirius. Is it about sex?"

Ashe _beams_ , "Oho!?"

Wilardo lets out a loud snort of what is definitely laughter and shakes his head, mumbling something about 'youth' that remains undecipherable, as the focus of the show rests on Sirius, who seriously contemplates whether he'll combust there and then, as his embarrassment ascends to reach newer, unexplored heights- no, rather, wouldn't combustion be a good alternative to this conversation?

No longer trembling, standing flaming red, frozen, the subject of 3 different people's gazes, he flatly intones, "What."

Wilardo helpfully pipes up to repeat the dreaded statement, "Are you jealous because-"

"Nonononono, whatever it is Wilardo you are wrong and I am not discussing this-", he shakes his head with such speed that Claire wonders if he'll snap it right off. Or would he explode from high blood pressure first? She makes a face at the image, her distraction allowing Ashe to step in with understanding and glee, the bastard, on his face.

"Oh my, Sirius. Can it be that you, for Miss Claire..."

_Oh_ , Claire imagines a bulb lighting above her head.

_What_ , Sirius thinks.

For Claire? For Claire what? Does he- is he insinuating- with Lady Dorothy's blundering granddaughter??? The newly born indignation summons strength into his voice as he snarls, "Don't even _go_ there, you suspicious-!"

'I should have let him starve', Sirius decides venomously, 'It was a mistake to let him move around freely. If I'd known that his presence would- weigh me with these _unnecessary_ _feelings_ -'

It doesn't _matter_ whether the snake means it in a romantic or purely sexual lens, because yes, Claire is pretty. She's always been pretty, her natural confidence makes it shine even more, and her ugly snorts and high pitched laughter has always charmed people. It's a fact of life, like how Lady Dorothy is his most important person and how he despises himself, that her granddaughter is an eternally blooming wildflower, a diamond in the rough.

And he wants nothing to do with her. At all. Never has and never will. The thoughts twist and churn in his head and Sirius wonders if Claire will be the cause of his death one day, perhaps, a death caused by excessive overthinking that her mere existence provides him. Rent free, at that.

"Hey now, hey now guys!", the lady of the hour claps her hands to gather everyone's attention, which is always on her anyways. She proceeds to look at him gently, throwing him off as he blinks and frowns, as if she knows something that he doesn't and-

She smiles. He frowns harder, helplessly.

Addressing everyone once more she says, "Stop that now~ Isn't it obvious?"

Its amazing how her blind confidence calms him down instantly, he ruminates absently. 'Ah, Claire's going to say something stupid again and the topic can be dropped to laugh at her instead', is an effortlessly non malicious thought. He almost relaxes, almost smiles back.

"What, Miss Claire?"

She giggles and stands, taking cheery steps towards the still standing man who, noticing her advance, eyes her warily. Ashe covers his mouth with his sleeve and Wilardo observes through lidded eyes.

"Heehee! Sirius thinks too much-", she reaches out to pat his shoulder and for some reason, he doesn't instinctively move away, "He cares about us and didn't want us to do something that we'd regret~ That's it, isn't it Sirius?"

She looks so pleased with herself, all vibrant charm and assurance. She's close enough that she could pull him into one of her annoying hugs or some other unwanted display of affection, like how she used to, but he knows she won't because-

Because why?

Here are the things Sirius knows about her:

Her hand is calloused; he knows this from the times she's gotten bandaged up by him after fighting demons, but it seeps warmth through his bony shoulder. Her arms are toned; she's stronger than he is and knows enough of boundaries, now, to not overstep. She didn't always have any of this. She was so much more insufferable, and still is, and yet the differences between the two 'Claire's', between him and her, continued to pile up as the years did and he's just- tired, maybe. He slumps and mutters, "...I give up...." because since when has he ever won against Claire anyway?

And besides, at least half of what she said is right. They really shouldn't ever procreate, if not for his sake then for the sake of the world at large; it's a miracle that it's managed to contain someone like Claire without chewing and spitting her out.

'It's a miracle that you managed to survive with that big, meddlesome heart of yours', he had thought upon seeing her in the mansion again.

"Huh? Did you say something Sirius?"

'It's a miracle that we managed to meet again, after everything that transpired', is what he had wanted to say when Noel took him aside to talk.

He waves a hand dismissively, "...Nothing. Yeah, sure, basically what you said, yes." He sighs and then haughtily looks her in the eye, "Try to make well-informed and responsible decisions, even though I know you struggle in that department."

She mock gasps, playfully punching him as she whines "That's unfair, Sirius, you know we're smarter than that"; he snickers, she cracks a smile and he knows she didn't take it seriously.

Miraculously, Ashe remains silent, although when Wilardo cracks an eye open he notices a shrewd look in the man's eyes, a calculating presence in his posture.

"And anyways, jealousy is a completely normal emotion to have and I'm honestly flattered, Sirius-"

"I-I-I-I!!! Was not jealous!!! You're all just! Shameless!!!"

Peals of laughter and strangled sounds fill the room once more as he closes his eye again and considers suggesting chamomile tea to calm Sirius's nigh always high-strung spirit later that night.

**Author's Note:**

> comment and leave a kudos if ya liked it c: i might add more chapters but who knows, i mean, i have exams and all~


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